Deviate
by Dark Caramel
Summary: After all the hardships that formed a strong bond between the two, bringing them to this very point, Joel and Ellie have seemingly settled down in Jackson. It is merely the calm before the storm when certain things start to rub the fresh wounds open. This
1. The Tall Trees

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to the "Last of Us"

 **Instruction : when you reach the ccc, continue reading with the following OST and keep it repeat:**

 **The Last of Us [You and Me] by Gustavo Santaolalla**

 **(I do not own any of the songs or soundtracks introduced in some chapters)**

 **Please do so if you want to get the most emotional experience out of these chapters that was my advice.**

 **Also make sure that you fully expand the text!**

 **Enough of me talking! Happy reading!**

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"Now I know that's not what you want to hear right now, but it's-"

His words were nothing more than ultimate futility, as she had already detached from regarding his sentences, soon interrupting Joel by heaving a subtle dismal sigh only to desperately look him up in the face again.

"Swear to me" the emerald of her eyes pierced through his dark brown ones. Slight shudders traveled through her neck and shoulders, inhaling and exhaling. As if it was incredibly hard for her to explicitly express the doubt and chaos that was viciously gurgling up to the top of her throat. Joel could see the dense layer of accusation welling up beneath her glowing irises. Though there was something far more prevailing in her look that made Joel's whole being wince internally; there was an undeniable hurt flashing through her eyes. A fine mixture of hurt, ambiguous melancholy alongside a conspicuous pleading. Ellie was secretly pleading with him and Joel knew exactly what she was asking for.

' _She knows.'_

She finally inhaled a somewhat steady breath and cut it short.

"Swear to me that _everything_ that you said about the fireflies is true." Her inquiring eyes remained in the direction, demanding him to clarify everything, to describe the limits and be cleansed of his probable sins. The slight pause of Joel spew some inner tension into the ambience.

' _I don't want a single one of those goddamn fuckers after you, Ellie. We're done with this whole thing'_

"I swear." Joel tried not to get trapped in her next straight scolding look, and instead adjusted the angle of his peripheral vision on a higher point; her remarkable evident eyebrow scar.

' _So that's it. He made his decision. He pulled the trigger already. He decided to lie to me. Joel, you mean after all we've been through… '_

She tried to believe him, she wanted to believe him, she strove to do so, but she also knew it was another lie. Joel had eyed her sternly and lied to her face a second time, as simple as that; in utter composure and impassivity. Both of their presences were a hundred percent aware that Ellie had woken up in a lucid blue hospital gown. The tiny fact itself betrayed Joel's carelessly congregated justifications. If only he had had some extra time to change some minor variables, fate would have probably turned elsewhere.

Joel had insisted on lying about the issue and nothing was to change that. Ellie gave up on him reproachfully. Her chest heavily rose and fell to each sharp but silent inhalation and exhalation which somehow mirrored her unbelief, mingled with some brutal discomfort. Her eyes fell to the ground, turning her innocent gaze from him fully this time. The deadly tornado in her heart kept on striking her again and again, each time confiscating a glued memory of her and Joel, waving it in a hypnotizing rhythm against her vision. There also stood silhouettes and memories of all the familiar deceased figures before her, literally leaving her with nothing but hysteric contemplation. She had never seemed so lost in life.

 **ccc**

"Okay" was all that managed to leave her lips alongside a slight reluctant nod. The word more or less signified a barrier to any further repercussion on the two.

Ellie's eyes randomly scanned the town as her slender thumb rubbed the scraped surface of her shoulder strap. She searched the far distant figures, diffusely moving on from one half-timbered house to another grey one, some appeared single-story, the others two-story, all came in the forms of colorful shapes and lines. The dominant wooden site endlessly stretched itself to the eyes of the viewer.

"Now c'mon, let's go check it out." Joel's words reverberated through her ears, partly bringing her back to her senses.

Ellie allowed herself to pause for a moment,

"Yeah, let's go"

They slowly came to descend the gentle slopes, setting foot on grass and stray shrubs as faint rustles danced their way down to Tommy's with them. Joel was not quite certain how to approach the semi-distant figure, realizing how the silent girl stared around at pretty much everything in a dazed way as though none of it was any longer real in her astounding presence.

With the wisdom of hindsight, his mind immediately switched to the irony or perhaps the apparent reversal lurking behind his life at all stages. His portion had bestowed a daughter upon him, lazing around in their loving home, the ominous plague drips on the universe out of nowhere, forcing them to desperately maneuver into the car whose features are dragged to the floor, clattering. Hardly had he known that the car itself was somewhat of a devious testimony to the further inversion of an upcoming life. The soldier's imperious gestures and a subsequent BOOM. There she was, a lifeless Sarah hanging afloat in Joel's trembling arms. She was gone, to an ever ulterior territory that would not allow any Joel to step in. His baby girl was gone.

It was not a bit later when his path crossed with a being that was exceptionally an extraordinary gift for hope. As if he was replaying his past, he had gained a strong chance to put an end to her demise. As mindful as he was, it drove him to swim against the flow this round, starting from the end to the very beginning. He set off with a gingerly lift, encircling her in a haven so close that would initially put his life in the line first, slaughtering the relentless fireflies with his own hands, and finally putting the unconscious girl in the SUV. It emerged that he had ultimately succeeded in reclaiming what was his; it was for him and him only to decide upon Ellie's life. She was his jewel in the hollow of a hand. Then again, in a world that a sense of fundamental decencies had been swabbed down, who was to prove that words and emotions would harbor much weight? Even if that word was success?

Marching in unison with the tall old trees, the miles indubitably seemed to have multiplied. There they were. Back at Tommy's, the only warm center of the world whose seed of ultimate civilization could be easily outnumbered by the evil that crept outside.

The colossal metal gate immediately came into view. For some unknown reason, Ellie felt a surge of horrid ambivalence adjuring her to revalue her decisions.

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 **Teasers for chapter two**

" **I was hoping to get our merchandise back"**

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 **A/N: thanks for reading! I apologize if this chapter was short. I was just seeing how far I could go. Next ones are gonna be longer I promise!**


	2. Redemption (I)

**A/N:Just make sure you fully expand the space between the lines, it makes reading more enjoyable believe me. Happy reading ;)**

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Chapter two: Redemption (I)

Jackson had genuinely offered them a chance of redemption. With a small portion of amnesia, Joel was fairly certain that everything would gradually fall into place.

Joel and Ellie calmly stepped backwards, in an attempt to expand the radius of the guards' vision within the watchtowers.

"Hey…"Joel called out, raising an outstretched arm "Name's Joel. I'm Tommy's goddamn brother." he squared his broad shoulders, crossing his arms only to discontinue when certain things began to sound clandestine.

The watchtowers were merely empty, deafening sound of gunfire and bullets coming from the inner zones. Shrill heart-wrenching screams were enclosed by the aggravated thuds of polka-dotted metal barrels crashing to the ground as bullets pierced through them.

"Sweet Jesus! "Joel opened his mouth, his anxious eyes going over the partly ravaged walls.

"Joel?!" there was a touch of panic on Ellie's face "What's happening?" adrenaline was flowing freely into their bloodstream.

"I don't know. Let's find a way inside "Joel remarked with the gruff erudite voice, his temper growing flaming alarmed.

"Fuck! How the hell are we gonna get through here?" Ellie's eyebrows tightened to half of a frown, fingers laced with her straps, arms frantically flapping as she scrutinized the walls for anything resembling an entrance, even an infinitesimal pore.

"We'll figure it out. Now c'mon" Joel sharply beckoned to Ellie with the back of his palm to follow him.

They took the first turn on the left, bolting in heavy steps as fast as their energies pushed them, swerving off the main wall in the end.

"There!" Ellie, in heady excitement, pointed to an area above the concrete walls which seemed bare enough to pass, rapidly bending over her waist to grasp her kneecaps, in an attempt to heavily pant for air. "There are even some stuff under it" she uttered, punctuated by hard breath interruptions as she tried to refine her vision in case more convenient props came into sight. Joel's dour jaw simply fell to accordance, a tiny grim uncertainty hanging loosely from his eyes.

They somehow clambered their way above the random structures, with each struggle dragging themselves against the partly rugged surface on top of the wooden containers. Random scattered geometric forms had morphed climbing the scaffolding remnants into a rather difficult and obtrusive task.

Managing to ascend the very last one, they allowed breaths of exertion to rampage through their tightly compressed lungs. Unfortunately enough, they were still drifting below the favorable point.

"Dammit too high" Joel's audible frustration furrowed his brow to a tangled knot, banging a clenched fist on the wall, eyes closed.

"Well…" Ellie offered in her soothing tone, a lavish sparkle dancing in the depth of her eyes

"you could boost me up" her crystalline emeralds switched to Joel's while fiddling with her hands, overtly cracking her knuckles in turn.

"What? No, no, no. It'd be too dangerous" Joel shook his head defiantly, glancing around restlessly for some other potential alternatives.

"Joel" Ellie demanded, "I'll be fine. Just boost me up" her blithe certainty grew bolder and bolder with each impassive event.

Joel's worry however embarked at a point where this carefreeness gradually lost its borders to outright indifference. And there would be a fatal stage when indifference grew on an individual's desire to live.

' _Ellie'_

That ubiquitous yet unique winter, her last bids of innocence were chewed up, harshly spat to a trash can under the name of survival. As of that moment, Joel dug up the buried fact that Ellie had changed forever. She had witnessed forbidden truths that were not just to be thrust upon anyone her age.

Even so, Joel still roguishly yearned for that quality of levity in her, hoping that this elixir which had given him a new lease on life, would not be emptied out abruptly.

"Alright, but be careful for Christ's sake!" his face was instantly padded with mild somberness

" I don't want bullets to cut through your head." He wildly gesticulated with his hands to imply how critical the situation was, a somewhat old habit of his.

Ellie's veiled eyes unblinkingly darted to the ground, forcing her chin down into a reassuring nod.

Joel held out his mighty hands for Ellie to step upon them, helping her to stand on his shoulders afterwards.

"See anything?" Joel inquired, swaying like a willow tree under Ellie's weight.

"No, nothing here, it's… deserted." A pause allowed her to scan the area.

" The sounds are coming from the inner parts."

"Alright" Ellie dragged herself up against the cold wall.

"Joel, I'm gonna open that thing for you. Head back to the front wall!" she announced as she gracefully lifted her other leg to the other side of the defensive railings.

"Just be careful with coming down, kiddo!" Joel's concern intensified.

"O-kay."

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 **A/N: Thank you for all the support, you guys have really flattered me (to readers, reviewers, followers and anyone who was involved alike) Do let me know if you have any constructive thoughts or ideas.**

 **So you've already noticed this chapter was short, that's because it has a part 2. The first part was edited and the second was not, so I'm just sharing this one at the moment ;)**


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